Defining Moments

  There are defining moments in everyone’s life. Moments that were fleeting but at the same time everlasting in our memory of them. Things, people, and places come and go all throughout everyone’s life. Some of those memories fade quickly. We may rarely if ever, think of them again. Other memories will never die. But there is another whole category of rare moments that define each of us. Moments that make us who we are. Moments that change our history one way or another. Some of these we remember fondly. Others, not so much. When I look back at my life…and I do that a lot lately as it comes with the territory of growing old. When you pass 65 years of age reality hits you over the head…hard! You realize you have more past behind you than you have future ahead of you. That thought is not an easy or comfortable one to live with. But there it is.

  But like I said, I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on my own defining moments. Perhaps this was triggered by my recent attendance of my 50^th year High School Reunion. Man, it doesn’t seem like it’s been 50 years already. But then again, at that reunion, I was reminded of so many things I don’t remember at all. For instance, I have very few memories of attending Sam Houston Elementary School. I do remember my first day of Kindergarten because my neighbor across the street from us pitched a humongous temper tantrum raging, “I hate Mrs. Timmerman. I hate Mrs. Timmerman.” He got sent home on his first day of school. I thought it was funny and never liked him much. He was one of our neighborhood bullies. But thanks to him, I remember that day. The next thing I remember about elementary is Fourth Grade. I hated my teacher, Mrs. Jaygo. And here’s why. It was because one of those defining moments for me and it involved a cute little blonde girl that sat next to me who had a long ponytail. I thought she was the prettiest girl in the whole school. Of course, I never told her that. I was too shy back then. One day we were doing crayon pictures to hang on the wall for parent’s day. I was doing one with a red and blue theme (precursor to Spider-Man perhaps?) Cathy, my little blonde crush, was doing a very nice picture that I thought would easily be the best picture on the wall. Sitting on the other side of Cathy was a girl that kept eyeing her picture. The one she was doing was not very good at all. We had to stop and take a break for recess. The other girl slipped back into class early on some excuse and wrote her name on Cathy’s picture and switched it with hers. When we got back in there, Cathy started complaining to the teacher about the switcheroo. Mrs. Jaygo didn’t believe her, and when she continued to complain, the teacher grabbed Cathy by the shoulders shaking her. I jumped up and yelled at the teacher to stop because she was hurting her. Mrs. Jaygo turned on me and sunk those claws of hers into my shoulders and gave me a good shaking as well. I bravely announced that she wasn’t hurting me; she was wrong, and Cathy was telling the truth. Mrs. Jaygo just pushed me down in my chair and told me to be quiet. I know Cathy started liking me then. But for me, it was one of those defining moments that I never forgot. It was the first time I stood up to anyone. I had always felt like a coward before that. My brothers always picked on me, and I never stood up to them until after that moment. I stood up for many underdogs after that. But I still always questioned my own bravery. It is the reason I joined the Army. And the reason I became a bouncer in night clubs after my divorce. I proved how brave I was over and over again in many tight situations during those times. It was like I had to keep on proving myself because for a long time I had a deep down fear of everything. A lot of that had to do with my father of course. He made it pretty plain that I was never “macho” enough to suit him. I was a shy little bookworm, and he did not approve. Neither did my step-father. So, yeah, I had issues.

  Another defining moment came for me in a car making “The Drag” down Gulfway Drive in Port Arthur. My best friend, Will, and I were returning from a day at the beach surfing. We still had our surf boards on top of the car. Will wanted to make one run down the drag before going home and cleaning up. I didn’t because I didn’t want to be seen in public with my hair all mussed up. But it was Will’s car so off we went. At a stop light, I looked next to us and saw the two most gorgeous girls I had ever seen looking back at us. They rolled down the window and asked us if they could ride with us. We met up with them at Burger King. Turns out, the blonde had gone out with Will before. Will didn’t like her much at all. But agreed to let them ride with us after much begging and pleading on my part. The blond got in the back seat with me and the brunette was in front with Will. I had on some corduroy pants…don’t ask me why. The blonde kept rubbing her hand on my leg saying, “Oooh, look, he has on grovies.” The brunette in front turned around in her seat and faced the back of the car. It was like a flirt war all the way down the drag. I had never in my life received so much female attention as I did on the short little ride into history. We took those girls on a first date to the beach because I convinced my buddy Will to take one for the team and ask them out. I found out that the girls had decided that I would be Linda’s date. At first,

Will refused wholeheartedly to take the blonde anywhere. I begged like I never begged before. He gave in. That’s why he’s still my best friend to this day. I ended up marrying Linda and Will married the blonde. Linda passed four years ago. But Will is still married to his blonde.

  My life took a detour that day that was major. All because Will didn’t listen to me and insisted we make one drag before going home to clean up. That was a defining moment for me that had a major impact on my life. My two kids, three granddaughters, and one great grandson can thank my best friend Will for not listening to me that day and taking that ride down Gulfway Drive. If he hadn’t done so, none of them would be here today.

  There were a few more defining moments in my life of course. Some good and some not so good as far as their outcome. These days, my life seems pretty settled. Pecking away on this computer seems to be the highlights of most of my days. And I don’t foresee too many major changes to my day to day routine. But there’s one thing I’ve come to realize lately. Defining moments come when you least expect them. And it’s never too late for one of those to pop up and hit you squarely between the eyes. And there ain’t a darn thing you can do about it except embrace it and go with the flow.