Love in a Bucket

  LOVE. I know we all know what that word is supposed to mean. The dictionary defines it as an intense feeling of deep affection. I have to admit I’ve wished, sometimes, that we never heard of it. But we all crave it, don’t we? We seem to wither as viable human beings without it. And if all that’s true, the whole world should be full of love. All we need is love, right? Then why is the world so not full of this fickle affection? If you could sit on the moon and look down on us with a telescope, what you would mostly notice right away is war and strife and misery and death. From afar, no signs of love would be visible at all. Now let’s jump from the moon to the ISS (International Space Station). From there it would be a little easier to focus in on individual nations. But looking down on your own country, could you see any evidence that love existed anywhere in the world? Probably not.

  It’s only when you plant your feet on the ground that you can point to things and say, “There is love.” Things like people walking together holding hands. People hugging. A grandparent shedding a tear over the sheer beauty that is their grandchild. Or a guy out in a park playing fetch with his dog. There may be several things in any one area that you could point to and say that is there because of love. Or that looks like love. But the problem is, you could point to just as many, or maybe even more instances where you would have to admit there is no love there. Even inside our families. Yes, there is love in families, some of it is even unconditional love. But all too often, there is just the opposite. So the question is, why? Why is it so hard for us to be in love or show our love all the time 24/7 as they say? Where does all the negative “not love” come from? Hey, why you looking at me? It’s a mystery to me as well.

  But looking back on my own life, it was kinda like a children’s game. In the game, we each had a bucket for a heart. And with most of us, the bucket could only get so full and then it starts to overflow. When your bucket is full, you have a lot of love to give. So, then you find someone with an empty bucket and pour the contents of your bucket into theirs. When our buckets were equally full, then we felt like we were in love and everything was right with the world. But I kept running into people whose buckets seemed to have a hole in the bottom of them. The more water I poured in the bucket the faster it came out the bottom through that hole. Their bucket never ended up full. In the end, even I would get drained and feel empty as a result of constantly trying to keep their bucket full. When that point was reached, the relationship was over. Some people had a bigger hole in their buckets than others. And after each failed attempt to maintain a mutual level in both buckets, it would take longer to refill my own bucket.

  Now bear in mind, I’m talking about relationships here. It’s different with your kids and grandkids. I love my kids and grandkids with a love that is always overflowing. It doesn’t matter how full their buckets are for me. Sometimes, my heart feels like it will burst every time I look at them. My daughter Is more precious to me than all the riches of the world. So is my son, and he hasn’t even spoken to me in years. I still love him and his family with all my heart. And I miss him terribly. And it pains me so much that I don’t seem to know a way to fix that problem. My granddaughters are my pride and joy just to look upon. To me, they are perfection walking. My great grandson makes me smile just thinking about him. So familial love is no mystery to me. It’s the one unconditional love I know well.

  Relationships are harder. And don’t get me wrong. I’ve been a very lucky man to have enjoyed the brilliant love of more than one woman…oh how I longed for that not to have been the case. Love of but one woman for all my life was the dream. But there it is. As long as I can remember as a child, all I ever wanted was to find a woman who would love me as much as I loved her. And in that childhood dream we would grow old together and go out at the end of a long and happy life together, also. So much for dreams. Life has its own ideas of how things are supposed to go, I guess. Either that or there really is such a thing as karma and my life had to make up for some very bad karma left over from the past. But again, don’t get me wrong. I’m not whining or crying over past or lost loves. Even though it didn’t turn out the way I wished. I have so many good and happy memories filled with much love. And even though some of the tragedy in my life may have put a hole in the bottom of my bucket, Jesus came along and started pouring his love into it. Now my bucket is always overflowing.

  But what does make me sad sometimes, is I look around and I see so many people walking around with empty buckets. The results of which seem to be responsible for all that other “not love” we see unfolding all around us more and more every day. It makes me want to run around and try to fill their buckets from my own. But the task has grown so fast and so big, I know I would soon find myself empty again. I alone can’t save the world. I know where the well is. I can point you to it, if you have an empty bucket or one with a hole in it. But, like that stubborn horse, I can’t make you drink of it and fill your bucket. Just know that it’s your own stubbornness that leaves you thirsty.

  Now for those fortunate enough to be in a relationship. For the new ones, if you want it to live and grow, it does take effort and a little bit of luck. If you really want to keep it growing, learn where the source of the living water is and draw deeply from it. You’re going to need it. And for you, oh so lucky few, who have been in the same relationship for a long time and it only seems to get stronger over the years…well I don’t have to tell you anything. You already know. May your bucket always be full and never spring a leak.