Defining Moments

  There are defining moments in everyone’s life. Moments that were fleeting but at the same time everlasting in our memory of them. Things, people, and places come and go all throughout everyone’s life. Some of those memories fade quickly. We may rarely if ever, think of them again. Other memories will never die. But there is another whole category of rare moments that define each of us. Moments that make us who we are. Moments that change our history one way or another. Some of these we remember fondly. Others, not so much. When I look back at my life…and I do that a lot lately as it comes with the territory of growing old. When you pass 65 years of age reality hits you over the head…hard! You realize you have more past behind you than you have future ahead of you. That thought is not an easy or comfortable one to live with. But there it is.

  But like I said, I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on my own defining moments. Perhaps this was triggered by my recent attendance of my 50^th year High School Reunion. Man, it doesn’t seem like it’s been 50 years already. But then again, at that reunion, I was reminded of so many things I don’t remember at all. For instance, I have very few memories of attending Sam Houston Elementary School. I do remember my first day of Kindergarten because my neighbor across the street from us pitched a humongous temper tantrum raging, “I hate Mrs. Timmerman. I hate Mrs. Timmerman.” He got sent home on his first day of school. I thought it was funny and never liked him much. He was one of our neighborhood bullies. But thanks to him, I remember that day. The next thing I remember about elementary is Fourth Grade. I hated my teacher, Mrs. Jaygo. And here’s why. It was because one of those defining moments for me and it involved a cute little blonde girl that sat next to me who had a long ponytail. I thought she was the prettiest girl in the whole school. Of course, I never told her that. I was too shy back then. One day we were doing crayon pictures to hang on the wall for parent’s day. I was doing one with a red and blue theme (precursor to Spider-Man perhaps?) Cathy, my little blonde crush, was doing a very nice picture that I thought would easily be the best picture on the wall. Sitting on the other side of Cathy was a girl that kept eyeing her picture. The one she was doing was not very good at all. We had to stop and take a break for recess. The other girl slipped back into class early on some excuse and wrote her name on Cathy’s picture and switched it with hers. When we got back in there, Cathy started complaining to the teacher about the switcheroo. Mrs. Jaygo didn’t believe her, and when she continued to complain, the teacher grabbed Cathy by the shoulders shaking her. I jumped up and yelled at the teacher to stop because she was hurting her. Mrs. Jaygo turned on me and sunk those claws of hers into my shoulders and gave me a good shaking as well. I bravely announced that she wasn’t hurting me; she was wrong, and Cathy was telling the truth. Mrs. Jaygo just pushed me down in my chair and told me to be quiet. I know Cathy started liking me then. But for me, it was one of those defining moments that I never forgot. It was the first time I stood up to anyone. I had always felt like a coward before that. My brothers always picked on me, and I never stood up to them until after that moment. I stood up for many underdogs after that. But I still always questioned my own bravery. It is the reason I joined the Army. And the reason I became a bouncer in night clubs after my divorce. I proved how brave I was over and over again in many tight situations during those times. It was like I had to keep on proving myself because for a long time I had a deep down fear of everything. A lot of that had to do with my father of course. He made it pretty plain that I was never “macho” enough to suit him. I was a shy little bookworm, and he did not approve. Neither did my step-father. So, yeah, I had issues.

  Another defining moment came for me in a car making “The Drag” down Gulfway Drive in Port Arthur. My best friend, Will, and I were returning from a day at the beach surfing. We still had our surf boards on top of the car. Will wanted to make one run down the drag before going home and cleaning up. I didn’t because I didn’t want to be seen in public with my hair all mussed up. But it was Will’s car so off we went. At a stop light, I looked next to us and saw the two most gorgeous girls I had ever seen looking back at us. They rolled down the window and asked us if they could ride with us. We met up with them at Burger King. Turns out, the blonde had gone out with Will before. Will didn’t like her much at all. But agreed to let them ride with us after much begging and pleading on my part. The blond got in the back seat with me and the brunette was in front with Will. I had on some corduroy pants…don’t ask me why. The blonde kept rubbing her hand on my leg saying, “Oooh, look, he has on grovies.” The brunette in front turned around in her seat and faced the back of the car. It was like a flirt war all the way down the drag. I had never in my life received so much female attention as I did on the short little ride into history. We took those girls on a first date to the beach because I convinced my buddy Will to take one for the team and ask them out. I found out that the girls had decided that I would be Linda’s date. At first,

Will refused wholeheartedly to take the blonde anywhere. I begged like I never begged before. He gave in. That’s why he’s still my best friend to this day. I ended up marrying Linda and Will married the blonde. Linda passed four years ago. But Will is still married to his blonde.

  My life took a detour that day that was major. All because Will didn’t listen to me and insisted we make one drag before going home to clean up. That was a defining moment for me that had a major impact on my life. My two kids, three granddaughters, and one great grandson can thank my best friend Will for not listening to me that day and taking that ride down Gulfway Drive. If he hadn’t done so, none of them would be here today.

  There were a few more defining moments in my life of course. Some good and some not so good as far as their outcome. These days, my life seems pretty settled. Pecking away on this computer seems to be the highlights of most of my days. And I don’t foresee too many major changes to my day to day routine. But there’s one thing I’ve come to realize lately. Defining moments come when you least expect them. And it’s never too late for one of those to pop up and hit you squarely between the eyes. And there ain’t a darn thing you can do about it except embrace it and go with the flow.     

History Lesson

  “Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” - George Santayana probably knew what he was talking about from first-hand experience. His saying could be applied to Nations as well as to individuals. If you fail to keep in mind past mistakes, you will inevitably repeat them. If you don’t keep in mind mistakes made by your parents, you will inevitably make the same ones in your own life. Nations that ignore the mistakes made by other Nations in the past are doomed to go the same way as their forbearers did. If the U.S. forgets how Rome fell, it is doomed to the same fate and will likewise fall. So, it is pretty frightening to see how ignorant our young people are of History. To them, it doesn’t matter what a bunch of crusty old men did a thousand years ago or even two hundred years ago. They worry more about what one of the Kardashians did last night and quickly forget what they did a month ago. Like I said, it’s a very disturbing trend. Our young people care very little for History, Geography, Math or Science. Knowing this, it would be very easy to just throw up our hands and accept our inevitable doom. But there is always hope that future trends will change things. History can’t be lost by one generation, or can it?

  Another thing that concerns me that seems to parallel this trend is our younger generation’s lack of interest in their own family’s history. Many of our children don’t know or care who their great-grandparents are much less about anyone who lived before they were born. If they have family who lives far off or in another state, they aren’t even inclined to travel to see and know them. And it’s not just the younger generation. I have members of my own family that have never shown any interest in going to see and getting to know the people who make up their extended family. I guess I have visited and gotten to know more people in my extended family than anyone else. And they are such warm and wonderful people who I’ve grown to love and respect over the years. I have sat and listened to my Uncle Edward’s stories of how it was long ago and loved hearing his stories of this relative or that. Those stories are gone now. Lost forever to the current generations. Uncle Edward’s wife, my aunt Ruth, was the kindest, sweetest woman I’ve ever met. With her death, I now only have cousins left alive in Arkansas. At least I know some of them and love them like brothers and sisters. We share a common heritage. But it’s sad that no one else in my Texas family has that bond with them except my mother, and she is quickly losing her memory of even me.

  I still have an Aunt in Louisiana, my Aunt Ruby (Bee), who is the last connection we have to the older generation of my father’s family. A couple of my brothers and I went to visit her recently and had a wonderful time. I don’t even want to think about the time when that connection is also lost to us. I feel History slipping away and guilty that I haven’t been taking notes. Another sad thing is that all the cousins don’t seem to be anywhere as close to each other as their parents were to each other. And our children don’t even know most of their cousins. I can see the day coming when brother will not even remember or care about brother or sister. You hear so much said about Nuclear Families. Where only husband, wife, and their one or two kids know and care about each other. Even the neighbors are strangers to them.

  How much further can this pendulum swing? Will we all become strangers, one to another? Will we perhaps surround and isolate ourselves with our technology? Will we abandon human compassion altogether and merge with our machines? If you look around with opened eyes, you can see all the signs of that day coming. I say that at that point, Human History will have ended. We will, at that point, have become something else entirely. I don’t know about you, but I will hold on tight to my Human History. And I will hold on even tighter to my Family History. Because without that – without human compassion and family connections – History is a long sad tale told by madmen with no future, no promise, and no purpose. My hope and prayers are that our Father in Heaven will come and take us all before that day arrives. And then how glorious it will be in Heaven to be with and know all our ken and loved ones from all the way back to the beginning of History. How awesome it will be to see firsthand how we are all ken one to another and all connected as one big family who can love and cherish one another for the rest of time.