For Better Or Worse
People ask me why I don't try harder to sell my books. Why am I not out there really promoting them to make money...to get rich? For me, it's not about the money. I always knew I would never be rich. It's not something I've strived to achieve. Money and Work (Job/Career) are not things I've ever cared much about. Quality of life and Love have always been the important things to me. And I have loved with every fiber of my being. And I have lived a very interesting life, to say the least. It hasn't always gone the way I wanted it to. But I guess it's always gone the way it needed to. Now as for why do I continue to write books? And why do I keep a blog going with my personal thoughts and ideas splashed all over the place for the world to see? Well, I do this because I know someday my great grandkids are going to want to know who I was. At least I hope they will. Just in case in my writing, I've left a way for them to answer that question.
I know I've often wondered about my great-grandparents. I barely know anything at all about my grandparents, for that matter. I know next to nothing about my great or great-great-grandparents. And there's no way for me to know anything about them now. So the way I see it, as long as there is an internet and kids still learn how to read, they can find a record of me and who I was here online. Trust me, I don't hold any illusions as to whether or not they will go looking. To most people in my life now, I'm pretty forgettable. But just in case my gene pool throws out another odd one like me someday, I hope they won't be disappointed as to what they find here. With poetry and prose, I've bled out all over the place all my heart and soul.
So who am I? Well, let's see if I can boil it down and put it in a nutshell? I was raised as the oldest of six kids. I was shy and loved to read. My brothers picked on me a lot. My childhood wasn't all that much fun. Most of it, I don't even remember...supressed I guess. I joined the Army when I got out of high school and served for four years. I got married to the love of my life while I was still in the Army. My wife and I had two of the most adorable kids you ever saw. I was always very proud of them. After the Army, I got a job at Texaco Refinery and went to college full time. I got my degree in English Lit with a minor in History. Here's a list of the jobs that show up on my resume. There were others that don't. I was a Morse Code Interceptor in the Army during the Vietnam war era, a pipefitter, a bouncer/manager of a nightclub/restaurant, assistant operator of a coking unit at Chevron Refinery, manager of a rental company in Tennessee, Inside sales rep at Nortel in Tn., scaffold builder, forklift operator, safety representative, shuttle driver, and a writer. Like I said, I left some minor ones out. I truly was a jack of many trades but master of none. From that mix, you can see how interesting my life has been. The theme of my life can be described with one word - Change! My love life reads pretty much the same way. Religion and I have had an interesting past as well. I've investigated it most of my life from every angle including from a scientific approach. I finally took the leap to faith when all else failed to give me answers. Only to find out how amazingly simple the answers were when I finally did. I love God and Jesus, but religion not so much. Other than that, I still am very skeptical of anyone be it a religious person or one of science when they tell me they know and have all the answers.
Politically, I was a Democrat in my youth, learned better in my adult years and became a Republican gradually over time. Then, once I had the time to really see clearly, I became fiercely independent and a Libertarian. In my old age, I realized God was in control, and my politics didn't matter.
At the end, I love. And it really doesn't matter if anyone loves me back. When the end truly comes, I will rush to my Lord's embrace with open arms and thank him for the opportunity my life has been. And that's who I am - for better or worse.