Making Friends

  Making friends hasn’t always been an easy thing for me. Like I’ve mentioned before, I was a very shy kid growing up. I didn’t have many friends in school. I had one friend from the neighborhood where I grew up. And then I got to be friends with a friend of his in high school. But that was about it for me. Oh, occasionally other people would drift in and out of our little group. But none of them really knew me or even took the time to try to get to know me. That was ok. I didn’t need a lot of friends. I was pretty much a loner and always had been. Crowds made me uncomfortable. After high school, I joined the army. I had a couple of good friends in the service, but you make friends there knowing that you will, or they will, be moving on eventually. When I got married, my wife became my best friend and that was all I needed for a long time. My two friends from school didn’t live close by anymore, so I eventually made a new friend from the people I knew at work. We became very good friends and fishing buddies. But that didn’t end well. When my marriage ended, so did all the friendships I had. It’s not such a good feeling to be making your way in the world with no one you can call a friend. No one you can talk to when times are rough. Oh during this time I had what I call alcohol buddies. Our relationships only went as far as Ladies’ Night at the local clubs. We got drunk together and chased women. Not a part of my life that I’m very proud of. For a long time, I wasn’t willing to really let anyone in to get to know me well enough to call me friend. I had serious trust issues. I didn’t trust anyone anymore. It’s hard to make friends when you have that going on. Then one day, while I was still living in Tennessee, I opened up my mind and heart and let God in. I had a new friend. One I knew I could trust. I stopped fearing death, and I started opening up more to the people around me. After all the issues I had with trust seemed almost petty now. No one could ever really hurt me like I had been hurt before. I now considered the hurts of this life mere growing pains or learning experiences. I eventually made a few new friends, mostly at work. Then I met Becky, and she became my new best friend.  Unfortunately, as most of you know, that only lasted five years. Then in spite of all the odds, I got my best friend forever (bff) back again. Sadly that too was only for a short period of time.

  People come and go in your life. That’s just the way it is. Good friends tend to stay around a little longer. I like to sit out on my deck and watch the birds. I have several feeders, and I’ve noticed something about birds. Many of them come around daily when the feeders are full. And if I let them get empty, they still keep coming for a while. But eventually not so many will show up anymore. Friendship is like that. You have to feed your friendships regularly, or they will eventually not show up when you need them. Of course I don’t mean that literally. But keeping friends around does take a little effort on your part. In other words, to have a friend you have to be a friend. These days my friends are mostly family members. Family members can be friends too. Sometimes they are the best friends you will ever have.

  Now there is one other source of friendship that is becoming more and more common these days. Some of these friends you will never meet face to face. But more and more we are interacting with people online from all over the world. People that don’t get on the internet laugh and say, “Well, those people could never be true friends. You can’t really get to know them online.” I beg to differ. I have made some very good friends online. And yes some of them live too far away for it to be possible for us to ever meet in person. But with today’s technology, that doesn’t necessarily limit the friendship. I talk and interact with some of them on a daily basis; much more so than I do with friends closer to home. Some of my facebook and online friends have been a real comfort to me in my times of sorrow. I can foresee a time when most of my friends might be online friends. And I’m ok with that. Friends are friends no matter where you meet them or meet up with them. At this point in my life, I need all the friends I can get and will not let a little thing like distance get in the way of a good friendship. So if you have good friends in your life, consider yourself a wealthy person. And cherish them. Some of them are only here for a short time. Love them while you have the chance.