The Right To Die

  I recently went to a movie with my lady friend and saw Me Before You. It’s a thoroughly enjoyable Hallmark (up to a point) type movie. The main character Lou (Louisa) is very eclectic in her personal style and completely charming in her outlook on life. So much so, that she eventually charms even the wheelchair bound, moribund man, Will Traynor, she has been hired to attend to. Will is completely paralyzed from the neck down due to a road accident. He has made up his mind to die and had given up on life altogether. In comes Lou and, for a time, Will’s gloomy outlook is abated. But only for a time. Will, you see, has promised his parents to stick around for six months only, then he will end his own life. In spite of his newfound love for all things Lou, Will carries out his original plan.

  Of course, assisted suicide is not legal in England, so Will must travel to Switzerland to end it all. Until I saw this movie, I wasn’t aware that assisted suicide was legal in any country. After the movie, I looked it up and discovered that it is indeed legal in Switzerland, The Netherlands, Belgium, Luxembourg, as well as in Quebec, Canada, and in the U.S. states of Oregon, Washington, Vermont, California, Montana, and New Mexico…so far. I know this subject has been debated for years engendering strong feelings on both sides of the argument. I must admit that I have very mixed emotions about this topic and am not sure which side I come down on.

  I know that religion has taught us that suicide is self-murder and therefore a sin. I’ve even heard it said that if you did such a thing, you would go straight to hell. I’m not one of those. For one thing, we are told not to judge. Such things fall into the domain of God’s will and not ours. We are also taught that there is only one unforgivable sin, and this is not it. So who knows? I guess it would depend on where you’re at with your relationship with God. But two different times, I’ve been at the bedside of two women that I loved dearly and held their hands until they took their last breath. Both women were very spiritual, and both would have gladly taken the option of assisted suicide if it had been available to them given the amount of suffering they had to endure during the last days and weeks of their lives. The question is what would I do if I were in a similar situation?

  The older I get, the more I wonder about that. I’ve visited a nursing home several times recently. Sometimes I think that anything would be better than the kind of miserable existence I see some of those unfortunate folks having to tolerate. Of course, some of them are so out of it that they are pretty much unaware of their surroundings and even who they are anymore. So sad to witness, and scary to think that I might end up that way someday. Faced with such a prospect, I’m not so sure that I could completely rule out assisted suicide. Of course currently, such an option is only available, here in the U.S., for those in their right mind who have been given less than six months to live. In the movie, Will was under no such diagnosis. In the other countries listed above, voluntary euthanasia is permitted as long as you are competent to make such a decision for yourself. My wife that died from pulmonary fibrosis and my wife that died from pancreatic cancer were both given less than six months to live. I know for a fact, that given the option, they would have taken it.

  If I were in Will’s predicament, I think I would have stuck it out a little longer. My father was wheelchair-bound for the last four years of his life, and I’m pretty sure he too would have ended it sooner if he could have. If I found myself suffering the way my loved ones did, I’m not so sure I could resist the urge to end it all given the option. My greatest fear is that I too will be faced with such painful things to consider and to endure someday in the not so distant future. My greatest nightmare is that I will be shoved into a nursing home and neglected for years until I finally die completely unaware.  I find it a complete irony that life can be too short and too long at the same time.

  Given what I’ve had to witness in my life, is it wrong for me to pray to God to either take me first or take us all and soon? I don’t know if I have it in me to sit and watch even one more of my loved one’s last moments. They say that time heals all wounds. And that God fills any void in your soul. Jesus has been my comfort and motivator to keep me going forward for sure. But I can tell you from experience that grief is a great pit at the bottom of my soul that threatens at any given moment to suck me into its abysmal darkness. Therefore, I so look forward to the joy of the next life. For the joy has pretty much gone out of this one. At least for now, Texas doesn’t have a law legalizing assisted suicide. So, no matter what, I will have to suffer on. And I promise to do so with a smile on my face…at least most of the time.