True Love
I watch a lot of
movies and, don’t tell anybody, but many of them are the romantic type. Even in
the movies there seems to be a lot of confusion about what love really is. I
see a lot of people both in these movies and in real life that say they are in
love, but they are actually only in a codependent relationship. This is best
described as succubi feeding off of each other. Each is in the relationship for
what they can get out of it, and for how it makes them feel about themselves.
In other words, it is a very self-centered type of arrangement. People in such
a relationship can appear to be happy. And when you ask them, they usually do
claim to be happy. As long as the other person is giving them what they want
they are happy. But is that really love? In a way I guess it is. At least it’s
a form of self-love. We hear a lot about
unconditional love. Many people don’t truly understand this type of love until
they have children of their own. We don’t just love our children when it suits
us or when they behave the way we want them to. We love them unconditionally no
matter what. I’ve been a party to and watched many people in the first kind of
love, but often don’t see the second type in the majority of cases. Some people
say that our pets love us unconditionally. Really? Try not feeding them or
keeping them penned up for long periods of time without giving them any
attention. It is true that dogs are notoriously unbiased as far as who their
object of affection might be. They don’t care about your color, religion,
political affiliation, or how big, small, tall, beautiful, or ugly you might
be. As long as you provide them with the necessities of life, they will love
you. That’s why we humans like our dogs so much. In some ways they are better
people than we are. I have also been in a relationship that was one-sided in
that I loved unconditionally, however, it was very heart wrenching when I
finally realized that it wasn’t mutual. The other person was dependent solely
on what I could give them and when it was perceived that maybe they could get
more somewhere else – they were gone. At that point in my life, I was sure that
I knew what “True Love” was, but I wasn’t sure that anyone else did. I’ve had
many experiences since then and relationships both good and bad. I’ve even seen
religious couples who claim to have an unconditional love relationship with God
and their children, but when it comes to how they relate to each other – well
let’s just say it’s not always as it should be.
Oh, I’m sure there are some couples out there somewhere who love each
other, their children and God totally unconditionally. I just haven’t met
them. So I’m still just not one hundred
percent certain that anyone else out there truly knows what unconditional love
means. To love unconditionally one must have love and give love completely
without any notion of what’s in it for me. Considerations like, is he/she
attractive enough to make others jealous of me, does he/she take good care of
me or provide for me, or does being with him/her help me get ahead in life, or
any other thing that is focused on the self rather than the other person are
all characteristics of the codependent kind of love. Some people even are
guilty of this in their expression of their love for God. To them, God is some
kind of great Sugar Daddy in the sky, and they only love him for what he might
do for them or what he might give to them. I on the other hand decided to give
my love to God many years ago, and I ask nothing in return. I only love him as
I do my wife and my children unconditionally. Do they love me back the same
way? I hope so, but it doesn’t really matter. THE IMPORTANT THING IS TO LOVE…NOT
TO BE LOVED. I’m happy to say that my wife realizes this too and feels the same
way. So in your own quest for “True Love” here’s a little friendly advice. You
don’t have to look any further than your own heart. When you can give away love
freely without expecting anything in return, then you are there.
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