Family

Family

  I have never been accused of being a social butterfly. In fact there were times when I was called anti-social. There were times in my life when that was true. People have often disappointed me, so I usually built up walls to keep everyone at bay. I have been betrayed by friends and family alike way too many times. It left scars. It caused me to deal with even those who were sincere in their attempts to befriend me in a not so friendly manner. I became a loner. I didn’t reach out to anyone. I didn’t try to make friends. I guarded my heart closely for a long time. My persona from my first introduction to the computer world has always been “Tinman”. My email address since 1995 has always been tinman@... For the last twelve years it has been tinmanrl@myway.com Even my twitter account is tinmanrl@twitter.com and my icon on twitter is a picture of the Tin Man from OZ. How I wished I didn’t have a heart.

  My best friend, and the only one I really needed, has always been my wife. I’ve had three of those in my life. And that was true of each of them. But my second wife and I moved to Tennessee and lived in or near Nashville for twelve years. During that time, my wife was the only friend I had in the world. I realized towards the end of that time, that family was even more important. As much as I loved Tennessee, I missed my family and couldn’t stand living in that void without them any longer. I realized that when I left Tennessee, no one there would even miss me, even after having been there for so long. So it was time to go home and mend some fences and build some bridges. As my second wife pulled away from me, I grew closer to my family. I clung to them like a drowning man to a passing log. I renewed my relationship with my parents and now admit that my best friends are my wife (first and fourth), my brothers, and my sister. I’m not so anti-social any longer and boast many other acquaintances and casual friends even here on the wonderful world of the internet. I call people friends now that I have never even met face to face. I’ve become brave enough to put my heart back out there wearing it proudly like the Tin Man after his visit to the Wizard.

  So, with my wife by my side and knowing that my family has my back, I can face the world and not deem it such a lonely place. Whereas I had closed myself off to the world before, I now stand open and ready to trust again. But trust is something to be earned. And not many have stepped up to the plate. Do I long to be a social butterfly? No, not really. At this point in my life my wife, my family and the few friends that I do have is enough. My two children and their children are my pride and joy. I don’t really need to accomplish much more than that. It is enough for an old man. I will always stand with my family and cherish them until the end. And I pray for all those out there that are estranged from theirs, or who find themselves alone in this world. Just remember that it is never too late to reconnect with your family or build a new one if you find yourself facing the world alone. Not much in the world is more important than that.