In The Meantime

  This is one of those phrases that always made me scratch my head and go hmm. “In the meantime.” What does that mean exactly? What is “meantime”? Can time be mean? Well some people would say so…especially older people. Or in this case, can mean be interpreted as average? If so how can time be said to be average? Or would it be implying the time in the middle? If time is infinite, wouldn’t every moment of time then be in the middle? Or is it that particular instant of time somehow has meaning above and beyond regular time? Which brings up another point. Why does so many words in the English language have several different meanings? Couldn’t we have come up with separate words for the other meanings so there wouldn’t be a need to use the same word twice? Oh wait, that’s what synonyms are. So instead of using the word “mean” to mean to intend, and middle, and average, and hateful, why don’t we just pick one of the synonyms for each of the separate meanings and drop the other uses of the word? And then there are those pesky words that sound the same but are spelled differently and have different meanings. What’s up with that? Like the word where. There is also wear and ware. They all sound the same but are spelled differently. Surely we could have come up with a completely different word for having on clothes. And then another completely different word for goods and products other than ware. Then eliminate ware and wear completely from the language. Who made up this cockeyed language anyway?

  But in the meantime, back to the original question, by meantime it seems that we mostly mean to say simultaneously which just means “at the same time”.  Now there’s a perfectly good word that works better for me. Of course there’s really no way to be sure that two separate events are indeed happening simultaneously, but we’re to understand that it’s close enough to not make a difference. Now don’t get me started on the word “meanwhile”. Is someone working on this problem, or is everyone too lazy to fix it and write a new dictionary? If there’s no one willing to step up and do the job, I guess I may just have to volunteer. I mean, hey, if they can invent a whole new language for the imaginary Klingon race, why can’t someone spend a little time fixing up the English language before it’s too late. I mean have you seen how they’re murdering it on the internet and with texting? And before I turn loose of this particular bone, what in the world do they mean when they talk about “colorful language”? I’ve heard that term applied to cursing, swearing, foul language, or down south-plain old cussing, or whatever other synonym you can think of for words that aren’t normally used in polite conversation or anywhere near a church. My question is what’s so colorful about them? They’re not purple, pink, or red…which are indeed words that can truly be described as colorful language. But cuss words? No. And then I’ve heard the expression “off color jokes”. What the (insert your favorite colorful language word here) is up with that? Does that mean they are jokes with no foul words in them? Somehow it seems to imply just the opposite. So bottom line is that Webster needs to get busy and clean all this up and come up with a New American English Dictionary before we’re reduced to spouting nothing but colorful language. And if Webster needs any help with this project, tell him to call me. I’m not so busy right now that I couldn’t lend a hand, pitch in, volunteer my services, do my part, provide assistance, make a contribution, put in my two cents worth…sheesh…it never ends. Of course if they ever did fix the language, the stories we writers come up with may soon become a little tedious and boring if everyone is forced to express themselves the same precise way. Crap! I hadn’t thought of that. Oh, well, carry on then. As you were.

Meanwhile…