That’s another of
those curious words that I think we could have done better on. Being homesick
seems to be implying that you’re sick of being at home. But in fact it means
just the opposite. There have been some really tough times in my life when I experienced
homesickness very deeply. The first time was while I was in basic training in
the Army. A couple of days into it and I started thinking, “Oh, my God, what
have I done?” Before that, I couldn’t wait to get away from Pt. Arthur, Texas.
I was so sick of being in that boring little town. Anyplace sounded better than
there – even the Army. So I joined up; signed my life away for four years. I
was ready for the adventure to begin. I remember my drill sergeant (Sgt. Dilly –
I guess I will never forget that one!) telling us that from that first day on
he was our Mommy and Daddy. I remember thinking holy crap, and I thought I had
it bad at home. He also mentioned, on several occasions, that we should forget
about our girlfriend because Jody was already there making her feel better. In
a couple of days she wouldn’t even remember us. In just a few days, I was so
homesick it was almost unbearable. I noticed I wasn’t the only one either. But you get with the routine and you get over
it. You didn’t really have much choice about the matter. I made the best of it.
Then I moved to
Tennessee later on, and at first it was great. I loved Nashville and being so
near to so many exciting places I could go for a weekend and explore. I like to
explore, and I love the mountains which is something we don’t have a lot of
anywhere near Pt. Arthur, TX. So for a while it was a wonderful adventure. But
it got old and home started sounding better and better all the time. I got
homesick. But you know it’s never really about the place. I missed my family
when I was in the Army. I missed them terribly after being so far away from
them in Tennessee. If I could have brought them all up to Nashville, it would
have been the greatest thing. And I never would have been homesick again. My
daughter living up there for a while made it at least bearable. But when she
moved back to Texas, that’s when it hit me hard. I got a terrible case of
homesickness for the second time in my life. So I eventually moved back to
Texas and everything was cool for a while. I thought I would never have to feel
like that again.
But now here I am
again. And maybe it’s just mostly the Spring Fever talking, but I’m homesick. I
don’t mean to be one to complain. I am away from home because of a choice I made
and have no one else to blame for it. I made the choice to be the one taking
care of my father rather than putting him in a nursing home. He doesn’t have a
lot going for him these days, but I’m sure his quality of life is so much greater
than what it would be if he were in that nursing home. And it’s not like I don’t
get to see and communicate with the rest of my family from time to time. This
time it is the place called home that I miss. Dad’s house is comfortable and
all, but it’s not my home. So for now at least, I am truly and thoroughly
homesick.
No comments:
Post a Comment