Outside the Box
An expression I’ve
always hated is, “You have to think outside the box.” What box? I always ask. I
don’t see any freaking boxes. Who put the box over my head? Is it a big box, a
little box, made from cardboard, or aluminum foil? No wait, I put that one
there. Anyway, are you just referring to my skull? If so, I don’t quite relish
the idea of thinking outside of it. Maybe when I’m dead I’ll give that a try.
Until then don’t tell me about some imaginary box. The only limitation to my
own thinking that I freely admit to is the one set up by the Big Engineer in
the sky who designed my brain and the Universe He tossed it into in the first
place. And, as far as He’s concerned, the only limitation is my own
imagination. And boy did I get blessed with a big one of those. I wish I could
say the same about everything else I was blessed with, but I digress. Anyway,
back to the hated expression. I realize that sometimes we get caught up in
endeavors involving routines and often are guilty of tunnel vision. We don’t
see the forest for the trees – another expression I have a beef with – I mean
come on, if you see “trees” plural, you’re obviously looking at the forest. Now
if you said someone couldn’t see the forest for the tree that would make more
sense.
So you’re working on this project and giving
it your all, when in walks this smarty pants boss and tells you that you and
your team need to start thinking outside the box. My first thought outside that
box is, “He/She don’t know me very well, does He/She?” You couldn’t even find most of my thoughts on
a radar screen – a very big radar screen. And Mr. or Ms. Smarty Pants wouldn’t
even want to see some of those outside the box thoughts I’m having right now.
For instance, where’s your out of the box ideas Mr./Ms. Smarty Pants? Is your
only function to crack the proverbial whip or pound the drum beat for us lowly
rowers? And if that’s how you see the situation, why would you even be
expecting us lowlife rowers to be thinking at all inside or outside the box? Isn’t
that a little above our pay grade? I mean as long as the stupid boat is moving,
we’re doing our job. So what you’re really saying is, “Hey, you need to be a
little more creative here.” Okay, now we’re getting somewhere. I can do
creative. In fact my creative might be so creative it is likely to give you,
Mr/Ms Smarty Pants, some very uncharacteristically creative nightmares. You
might come to regret what you wished for.
So bottom line, If
you think I’m thinking inside a box at any point, just let me know. And I’ll
show you thoughts that will rip said box to shreds like a hand grenade going
off inside a paper bag. Thoughts will go flying around the room and splatter
against the walls. You might want to not wear your best footwear that day
either because there will be some landing on your shoes. And I won’t guarantee they
will ever come clean again. It could get messy. Fortunately for me, the only
Smarty Pants I answer to anymore, is my own self. I do like it better that way.
When I get all crazy in my thinking nowadays, nobody else has to get hurt. So
if you accidentally blundered into this, just back away slowly from the guy
with the crazy ideas wearing the tinfoil hat and no box in sight. Then turn and
run like hell.
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